Larry the Laundry Nazi

Last night I had a wild hair up my ass and decided to do some laundry. It was 8 pm and the laundry room at my apartment closes at 10pm. It doesn't lock up or anything, it's just a sign on the door. I figured two hours was enough time to get one load of laundry done.



At 9:45 I went down to go fold my clothes from the dryer. If I just toss them back into my Ikea laundry hamper- straight from the dryer without folding them-they will NEVER get folded and put away. So I like to fold them fresh from the dryer right there. It took me a little over 15 minutes. I was quiet. I didn't want to disturb any of the neighbors that live above. I am a very conscientious tenant. Actually I have "lived" (with my theatre schedule, I am hardly here..just come home to sleep, basically)here for over 6 years. Sometimes I'll be around the complex and someone will ask if I've just moved in because they don't recognize me. Anyway, I finish folding and head out.

There is this man standing outside the door waiting for me to come out. He is impatiently looking at his watch and tapping his foot. He says in a high pitched voice,
"This Laundry room closes at 10 pm!"
I ask, "I am sorry, what time is it now'
"10:03 pm- I am going to report this to the manager, this is unacceptable. People are trying to sleep up there"
"Do you live above? I was just folding my clothes and trying to keep quiet...."
"No, I live on the other side, I am just trying to keep order."
He was really pissed, loud, and yelling at me at this point.
I started to get a little pissy ,myself.
I bitched,
"Well technically my clothes were done at 9:45 and I was just FOLDING my clothes. I was quiet. I bet if you even ask the people upstairs (if they are even home) that they didn't even notice I was in here. I was careful to open and close the door with out making a ruckus. Frankly, I don't think it's any of your business, asshole, to be the laundry monitor on a Friday night. I am NOT disturbing the peace, having a party...in fact, shithead- you are being quite a nuisance right now yelling at 10 o'clock at night out here"
Then he fixed his stare at me and glaringly said,
"Well, aren't you scared to be alone out here at night- by yourself?? Things can get pretty dangerous"
I looked at him,"Is that a THREAT?"
He looked worried, backed off, and said,
"he he..I was just kidding...but you don't know me- you don't know what I could do so you shouldn't talk to me like that"
I said,
"Look Gladis Kravitz- I am NOT threatened by you. For starters I am about three feet TALLER THAN YOU. I probably weigh more than you do, and I am pretty sure I could body slam you into the wall right now and leave you more brain damaged than you allready are. Do NOT mess with me. Besides- who do you think the manager is going to be more upset with? A tenant who has lived here for 6 years-without a complaint or problem -staying quietly THREE FUCKING minutes past the time in the laundry room not bugging anyone- or Larry the Laundry Nazi all up in every one's business and threatening tenants??? Maybe I should report YOU to her AND to the Police. Threats are a form of terrorism, Schmoehawk."
He muttered something that I think was an apology and stormed off. I didn't see what apartment he went to.

This morning I told the apartment manager this, and she said that she has warned him before of minding his own business and if he isn't happy with how she runs this complex, he is free to move out at any time. She'll remind him to keep his mouth shut.

On my way back I ran into my downstairs neighbor who told me that he had heard everything last night. When he heard that jerk threaten me, he was about to come out and put a stop to it- but then he saw and heard what I said, and was really impressed how I handled it. He knew I could take care of myself, but wanted me to know he would have come out if needed and if that happens again to knock on his door. That made me feel good.

I finally put the site meter on my blog. So now Big Sister is watching, kiddies. I'll be able to catch the lurkers!! LOL

So far I've allready gotten one dude who stumbled across my blog searching for drunken woman videos...
great.... now I can add PERV Magnet to my title.....

Smooches!