A postcard to you all!!!
Everyone, this is Drunk Drama Queen, taking time out of my busy social life onboard the Titanic II to tell you all hello, I love you, I miss you, and please, pray for my soul.
First off I want to say that my social life has really picked up since being onboard! Why didn't _anyone_ ever tell me that guys find women who get drunk easily, and pass out quickly, a huge turn on????
This led to a lot of dates!!! That is the good news.
The dates sucked!!! That is the bad news.
For instance:
Bad Date #5: I was romanced by Raoul on the gang-plank going onto the barge.. I mean cruise ship. He said he would call my cabin and ask me for dinner. He didn't.
Bad Date #12: I met Lou about 10 minutes, and twelve margaritas, after I boarded the ship. He said he would call my cabin and ask me to dinner. He did.
Bad Date #28: I liked Brett. Brett likes Isaac (the bartender).
Bad Date #36: Johnny was the love of my life. I wanted him soooo bad. So did Interpol.
Bad Date #53: Reggie said he loved me and wanted to spend time with me. Then he changed his mind.
Bad Date #69: (c'mon you _know_ there had to be a #69) I thought John was the best looking guy I had ever seen. Total turn on like no one before, and no one will ever be able to hold a candle to him in terns of WOW-power. Turns out we have a lot in common, like most of the same aunts and uncles. Why didn't anyone tell me that my cousin had plastic surgery?
Bad Date #84: Spencer wined and dined me... money was not an object. TONS of jewelry (the real stuff- I had it checked). Then I found out he had stolen my ATM card. Looks like I bought myself some nice stuff. At least Spencer had good taste.
Bad Date #148: My dinner date, Hal on the third evening out. He listened to all my boring stories about Steph, and Amber, and Jim, and Jay. Let me yack on and on. I thought he was the strong quiet type. Turns out he had choked on an appetizer about two minutes after I started talking to him. After hearing some of the stories about Steph, Jim, Amber & Jay, the ships doctor ruled it as a suicide.
Bad Date #206: Karl said I was the woman of his dreams. Turns out 'Karl' is short for Karlene, who likes to play dress-up.
But I will find the perfect man... I swear to God I will find him. Then I will scream at him for making me wait!
Loving you always,
DDQ
PS. Remember, marriage *is* the best form of revenge.
First off I want to say that my social life has really picked up since being onboard! Why didn't _anyone_ ever tell me that guys find women who get drunk easily, and pass out quickly, a huge turn on????
This led to a lot of dates!!! That is the good news.
The dates sucked!!! That is the bad news.
For instance:
Bad Date #5: I was romanced by Raoul on the gang-plank going onto the barge.. I mean cruise ship. He said he would call my cabin and ask me for dinner. He didn't.
Bad Date #12: I met Lou about 10 minutes, and twelve margaritas, after I boarded the ship. He said he would call my cabin and ask me to dinner. He did.
Bad Date #28: I liked Brett. Brett likes Isaac (the bartender).
Bad Date #36: Johnny was the love of my life. I wanted him soooo bad. So did Interpol.
Bad Date #53: Reggie said he loved me and wanted to spend time with me. Then he changed his mind.
Bad Date #69: (c'mon you _know_ there had to be a #69) I thought John was the best looking guy I had ever seen. Total turn on like no one before, and no one will ever be able to hold a candle to him in terns of WOW-power. Turns out we have a lot in common, like most of the same aunts and uncles. Why didn't anyone tell me that my cousin had plastic surgery?
Bad Date #84: Spencer wined and dined me... money was not an object. TONS of jewelry (the real stuff- I had it checked). Then I found out he had stolen my ATM card. Looks like I bought myself some nice stuff. At least Spencer had good taste.
Bad Date #148: My dinner date, Hal on the third evening out. He listened to all my boring stories about Steph, and Amber, and Jim, and Jay. Let me yack on and on. I thought he was the strong quiet type. Turns out he had choked on an appetizer about two minutes after I started talking to him. After hearing some of the stories about Steph, Jim, Amber & Jay, the ships doctor ruled it as a suicide.
Bad Date #206: Karl said I was the woman of his dreams. Turns out 'Karl' is short for Karlene, who likes to play dress-up.
But I will find the perfect man... I swear to God I will find him. Then I will scream at him for making me wait!
Loving you always,
DDQ
PS. Remember, marriage *is* the best form of revenge.
Labels: amberthyme, Bad Dates, Berserker Librarian, DDQ, Jay the Cynical Bastard, Postcard, Q1, Queen of Dysfunction
posted by Drunk Drama Queen @ 7:34 PM
5 Comments:
At 8:11 PM,
The Berserker Librarian said…
DDQ,
Glad you are having a memorable vacation! Remember to take plent of pictures!
At 9:13 PM,
Jay said…
Queen: Oh sure, encourage me all week and NOW you tell me it was maybe all a bad idea. LOL ;-)
At 10:55 PM,
Amberthyme said…
ROTFL. wheeze wheeze wheeze!
At 4:52 PM,
Anonymous said…
OMG. there's nobody left to comment.
this is good.
and yes. you are dead.
advertising lables?
At 8:43 AM,
Anonymous said…
The 'bad date' ruled a suicide by the doctor. Oh yer to to funny. ROTFLMFFAO
Glad ya having a good time.
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