Three Drunks and a Wedding
Hi everyone! It's the Berserker Librarian again, doing his part for the guest-blogging of Drunk Drama Queen.
I just want to say that Queen of Dysfunction, Jay- The Cynical Bastard, and Amberthyme have been doing a great job, I think, on filling in the blanks on our Drama Queen.
After reading Amber's last post, though, it got me in the mood to relive another drunk moment with DDQ at a social event. This time, however, there is a twist. DDQ was not the one getting drunk...
Picture it, 1918- okay not so far in the past, but it was a while back... at Amberthyme's wedding reception.
The wedding was great, and then came the reception. DDQ and I sat with a few other friends, including our _dear_ friend Gary.
DDQ and I were talking when she saw me fill up my glass of wine. No surprise there. I am a huge alcoholic. All of DDQ's friends are. She made us that way. But nevermind... I'm talking that through with my therapist next week...
Anyway, back to the reception. DDQ was not surprised to see me fill up my wine glass, but she was laughing as I then proceeded to grab Gary's empty glass, from in front of his unobservant ass, and swap it with my full one.
I had already done this about three or four times.
The evening progressed. Dancing, eating, laughing... and of course, continually swapping out Gary's glass of wine with DDQ's help. We started taking turns to see who could grab his empty glass and swapping it for a full one.
This went on for three hours and four full bottles of wine- or four empty bottles depending on how you look at it- just for Gary.
Around 9 o'clock or so, Gary is barely able to stand up, and saying he thinks he is coming down for something, because he only poured himself two glasses of wine. DDQ turned away, laugh-coughing-choking.
DDQ leaves for a moment, nearly pees her pants she is laughing so hard in the bushes, and then comes back all prim 'n propper. Gar yis so out of it, he did not even notice anything, which nearly set me off.
Then Gary stated he had to leave soon to go to work, becaue they were doing inventory at Toys-R-Us after the store closed.
Ooops.
Don't worry, we did not let him drive drunk. To this day he does not remember going to work, but oddly enough, another employee later told him that someone had pissed in the aisles.
I just want to say that Queen of Dysfunction, Jay- The Cynical Bastard, and Amberthyme have been doing a great job, I think, on filling in the blanks on our Drama Queen.
After reading Amber's last post, though, it got me in the mood to relive another drunk moment with DDQ at a social event. This time, however, there is a twist. DDQ was not the one getting drunk...
Picture it, 1918- okay not so far in the past, but it was a while back... at Amberthyme's wedding reception.
The wedding was great, and then came the reception. DDQ and I sat with a few other friends, including our _dear_ friend Gary.
DDQ and I were talking when she saw me fill up my glass of wine. No surprise there. I am a huge alcoholic. All of DDQ's friends are. She made us that way. But nevermind... I'm talking that through with my therapist next week...
Anyway, back to the reception. DDQ was not surprised to see me fill up my wine glass, but she was laughing as I then proceeded to grab Gary's empty glass, from in front of his unobservant ass, and swap it with my full one.
I had already done this about three or four times.
The evening progressed. Dancing, eating, laughing... and of course, continually swapping out Gary's glass of wine with DDQ's help. We started taking turns to see who could grab his empty glass and swapping it for a full one.
This went on for three hours and four full bottles of wine- or four empty bottles depending on how you look at it- just for Gary.
Around 9 o'clock or so, Gary is barely able to stand up, and saying he thinks he is coming down for something, because he only poured himself two glasses of wine. DDQ turned away, laugh-coughing-choking.
DDQ leaves for a moment, nearly pees her pants she is laughing so hard in the bushes, and then comes back all prim 'n propper. Gar yis so out of it, he did not even notice anything, which nearly set me off.
Then Gary stated he had to leave soon to go to work, becaue they were doing inventory at Toys-R-Us after the store closed.
Ooops.
Don't worry, we did not let him drive drunk. To this day he does not remember going to work, but oddly enough, another employee later told him that someone had pissed in the aisles.
Labels: amberthyme, Gary, piss, Toys R Us, unobservant, weddings
5 Comments:
At 9:43 PM, Anonymous said…
Um, if memory serves my reception started at about 6:30 p.m. and it was about a thousand degrees outside. So Gary was really, REALLY drunk. But don't worry. Inventory didn't start until Midnight. He had at least a couple of hours to regain his ability to stand up straight.
At 12:36 AM, Jessica said…
That's actually not funny. Unless you're 16, in which case it's hysterical.
At 10:59 AM, Jay said…
He actually went in to do inventory after that? LOL I bet that was a pretty wild night.
I'm going to blame DDQ for my being a drunk too. ;-)
At 4:37 PM, Anonymous said…
Oh my. And he dont have no memory of it and went to work anyway?? Good grief me is surprised that the someone else in the store didnt put him in a cab an send him home. Funny in a wierd way. But from the posts me reads of DDQ something me would expect. Naughty, naughty. LMAO
At 7:46 PM, Anonymous said…
ok. i'm 16 cause that's funny. made ya'll into alcoholics.. bah! like flies attracted to shi...
oh, nevermind.
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