I was too hung over for New Years (I'm a drunken whore)

I went to a wedding on Sat. It was the youngest daughter of family friends. Their oldest daughter and I have been best friends since kindergarten. My brother and the Bride were best buds growing up also. Her parents are like second family..... we are all so happy for her and her cute husband. They are so happy together and are a really cute couple. With my friend Amy's wedding at the beginning of December- Sat made it the 2nd wedding in a row where I actually had FUN- I believe that (knock on wood) my wedding curse just may be perhaps over!!
This wedding on Sat was AWESOME for two reasons.
#1- the ceremony itself was short- yet classy
#2- the reception had a hosted bar....

Needless to say, I became very shitfaced in a short amount time. How shitfaced did I get??
Well, boys and girls- I proceeded to call everyone in my cell phone address book and give them their friendly neighborhood "Drunk Dial"......

I did this for several reasons..
I was bored and tired of dancing,
It was awfully warm in the reception hall so I had to step out for some air,
I was in Oakdale (small cowboy hick town not too far from where I grew up)
and I had about 7 glasses of 7 and 7's (Seagrams 7 and 7up)

Q1 was spared my drunken warbling. I was coherent enough to think ahead- that if I did leave an answering machine message I didn't want her to have to explain the drunken ranting of a tourette's patient to her 6 year old.....

"Mommy, why is Aunti DDQ slurring and screaming naughty words?"

"It's Saturday night, honey- you'll get used to it..."

However, my buddy Wade was not so lucky. See his post here to listen to the actual voicemail I left him......

In my defense- this all sounded a LOT better in my head than how it actually went down...

And the whole "gay" joke is a reference to the movie The 40 Year Old Virgin....

Enjoy -
Smooches
( and mortified as hell that I really sounded like that) DDQ...