I didn't even get a lollipop for being a good girl.....

Today my work was offering Flu shots for 20 bucks at our jobsite. Which is pretty cool this year, because I would always forget to go out and get a flu shot....then get the flu and perform my version of the Pea soup scene from the Exorcist-

So today I fill out my form, pay my 20 bucks and stand in line with a bunch of other yahoos that don't mind playing the human pin cushion game.

Did I mention I don't like needles and actually BIT the last nurse who tried to give me a tetanus shot??? ( I was 19 at the time)

My coworker gets to go to the nice Grandma nurse who looks like she's old enough to have given Jesus HIS flu shot- in the manger.... My coworker said it was a piece of cake and didn't even feel it- Lucky bastard.....

I get Nurse RATCHED- who squeezed my shoulder really hard, slapped it and YELLED at me to relax.
,"Listen Nurse Rambo, you do that again, and I'll relax my foot in your ASS" (in my inside voice)- my outside voice just giggled uncomfortably - like when your Grandmother tells you that you should go to church to pick up men and find a husband

Nurse Ratched says, "How come you didn't get a flu shot last year?" as she looks at my form.

"Well, I was probably home sick with the flu." I reply.

"Two years ago, you remember that these shots hurt, right? Well, it's gonna hurt today, bad" she says....

"Where did you learn your bedside manner from, Hannibal Lector?" I ask her.. (again, on the inside) (outside voice- "uh....okay- thanks for the tip")

Then she proceeds to jab me with the needle...only it doesn't work...
she says, "You must be thick skinned" AND JABS ME AGAIN..EVEN HARDER!!
I gasp, and mildly utter a curse word- which got me a dirty bird look from Grandma nurse.....

She then asks me if I spend a lot of time in the sun.
Kiddies, let me tell you a little secret, since you probably can't tell from my photo..but I am just two shades shy of fucking translucent... I ask her-in my outside voice, " uh, honey? Does it LOOK like I go in the sun? Not without a bee keeper suit on"....
She slaps on a band aid and lets me go on my merry way..... rubbing my arm and giving her the evil eye.... which with me is more like - the I really want to be evil-but am more- really pissed off -eye. ....the stinky eye...that's what I give her!

I did get my revenge... she was in the bathroom later on that afternoon....and I saw her coming down the long hall...and pulled an Elaine from Seinfeld move and hid all the toilet paper before she got in there.....

Take that Nurse Ratched, Flu shot BiYatch!