Originally written March of 2004

This event occurred in 2004-
Lemme fill you in on a fun filled Saturday I spent in San Francisco this weekend. BACKGROUND
My two dear friends Shaleen and Steele and I , along with Shaleens mom Sharon- went to go see Mama Mia in San Francisco. What a wonderful show. I left my apartment at 9:30 am and went to meet Shaleen. It took us a while to get on the road- but we left at 11:00 and were on our way to the Richmond BART station. Shaleen borrowed Greg's car because we didn't want any car drama (her car has been acting funky- this will be very important later on in the story). With one minor re-route (Shaleen wasn't aware that the Richmond station was off of 80- she thought the Pittsburgh BART was what I was talking about) we were in the city and met Steele and went to the show.
-Show was FABULOUS- had a great time! Due to some great coworkers of Steeles our seats were upgraded to Orchestra and we sat behind a 60 year old woman with a very interesting hair do... a cross between a Cockatoo and a chia pet.
HERE IS WHERE THE STORY BEGINS
We leave the theatre after the show and immediately walk into a RIOT. That big protest you read about and saw in the news this weekend?? Yep- yours truly was SMACK down in the middle of it- there were police with riot gear- thousands of them. So we quickly leave that mess and head to the Tonga room at the Fairmont (??) hotel for a drink. When we get the bill we freaked because we thought that they charged us 4 dollars for (what we thought were complimentary) mixed nuts on the table. Turns out we weren't reading the bill correctly- so we left. On the way out Shaleen and Sharon were in the ladies room and Steele and I were window shopping at the gift shop and froo-froo stores at the hotel. I made him smell my hands because the soap in the bathroom smelled nice.. He did and agreed- and said that the men's soap didn't .. So I smelled his hand.. Then we got goofy - at least we're not dogs.. Or we'd be smelling each other's butts.. WE STARTED TO PANTOMIME THAT IDEA- we turned around and the guy in the store was staring at us THROUGH THE WINDOW... I wonder what the hell he thought when he saw us sniffing each other!
Okay- back to the story- we leave the hotel.. And head to dinner . We eat at this great Burmese/Chinese food place where our waiter was wearing a tablecloth as a skirt- we were that nights entertainment.. We had these laughing fits and had a great time. We leave that place and go to catch a drink at the Gold Dust Lounge. An old Bordello that is now a bar- we couldn't find a place to sit- and leave..
Then we FIND A DEAD BODY.
In the middle of the sidewalk there was an over tipped wheel chair with a body covered in a blanket on it laying on the sidewalk not moving. And we didn't want to stay and check so we called 911 and reported it- then went to the top of the Marriott to have another drink. We finally got back to the Powell street Bart station at 11:00 pm to finally realize that the last train to Richmond from there left at 7:00 pm. After having to scrape Shaleen off of the ceiling- we caught the train to Pittsburgh and transferred at 12th street. Made it safely to the car at midnight and headed home.
Right after Vacaville OUR TIRE EXPLODED AND CAUGHT ON FIRE.
Yes.. The tire severely blew- separated from the rim and caught on fire.(and we took Gregs car so we won't have car trouble) We called AAA and waited for the truck to come. I really had to pee at this point so I had to PEE BEHIND A ABANDONED OLDSMOBILE. We get the spare donut on and fill the rest of the tires up.. And head home... going 45 miles an hour.
We finally get to Sacramento where I realized all this time I had a hole in the crotch of my pants... Which sent Shaleen and I into fits of delirium. We pull into the parking lot of her apartment. She has to pee really bad- and the sprinkler had malfunctions and there was a 6 foot geyser covering the sidewalk to get to the apartment. I hear Shaleen scream.. I have to pee and Mt Vesuvius is blocking my way...
TO END THIS TALE,
I got home at 4:00 am... To sum it up- on Sat I-
Saw Mama Mia
Walked into a Riot
Saw a dead body
Had our Car tire EXPLODE AND CATCH ON FIRE
Peed behind an abandoned Oldsmobile
Had a hole in the crotch of my pants and didn't know
I am never leaving my bed again